Ideas for Painting

by Jack Handey

Because I love art, I am offering the following ideas for paintings to all struggling artists out there. Some of those artists may be thinking, Hey, I’ve got good ideas of my own. Really? Then why are you struggling?

These ideas are free of charge. All I ask is that when you have completed a painting, as a courtesy to me you sign it “Jack Handey and [your name or initials].” And, if the painting is sold, I get approximately all the money.

Good luck! Let’s get painting!

Stampede of Nudes

The trouble with most paintings of nudes is that there isn’t enough nudity. It’s usually just one woman lying there, and you’re looking around going, “Aren’t there any more nudes?” This idea solves that.

What has frightened these nudes? Is it the lightning in the background? Or did one of the nudes just spook? You don’t know, and this creates tension.

Made You Look

This idea is difficult to execute, but could turn out to be a masterpiece. It depicts a grandly dressed lady looking straight at you. At first, her look seems to say, “Quick, look behind you!” So you turn around, and when you look at her again her expression now seems to be one of smug satisfaction.

The Bleak Hotel

A man is staring out the window of a bleak hotel room. He looks depressed. From the side, flying through the air, is a football. And you realize, If he’s depressed now, just wait until he gets hit in the head by that football.

The Repentant Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz, her tear-streaked face lit by a candle, gazes wistfully at a photograph of me.

The Weary Peasants

Some tired-looking peasants are walking down a road at sunset, carrying sheaves of wheat. A nobleman in a fancy coach is coming up from behind. This creates drama, because you’re thinking, Why don’t those peasants get out of the way?

Self-Portrait with Startled Expression

The key here is to be able to constantly startle yourself as you’re painting. One option is to hire a professional startler, but that can get expensive. (The best ones are from Ireland.) Be sure to use opening the bill from your startler as a free startle.

The Death of Hercules

An old Hercules is being lifted into the air by angels. On the one hand, it makes you sad, but on the other you think, He’s still in pretty good shape.

Abstract White No. 1

This is a solid-white painting. You might be asking, “Is it O.K. to put in a fleck of color here and there?” I give up. Do whatever you want.

The Boxers

Two boxers are whaling away at each other in a boxing ring. But then you notice that the people in the audience are also fighting one another. And it makes you ask: Who are the truly barbaric ones here, the boxers or the spectators? Then you can turn the painting over and read the answer: “the boxers.”

The French Lovers

A French dandy is embracing his beautiful buxom lover in a lush, overgrown garden. This painting should be in the shape of binoculars.

Still-Life with Rabbit

A wooden table is chockablock with fruit, cheese, and a glass of wine. To one side is a dead rabbit, a dead pheasant, and a dead eel. And you’re thinking, Thanks for the fruit, but, man, take better care of your pets.

Still-Life with Beets, Cauliflower, Liver, and Large Glass of Beer

Just kidding. Only the beer.

The Expulsion of Adam and Eve

Biblical themes sell well. In this one, God hovers over Adam and Eve, kicking them out of the Garden of Eden. As they leave, in an aside to Eve, Adam imitates the expression on God’s face.

The Jolly Dancer

The scene is a flatboat on the Ohio River. A frontiersman who looks like me is doing his funny cowboy dance. Everyone seems to be enjoying the dance except for an insane simpleton who looks like my so-called friend Don. Crawling up behind Don is a big snapping turtle.

Untitled

This can pretty much be anything. Just remember to make it good, and to put my name on it.

go here

Hey Ya Hey

The best photographers ... are designers.

Photograph by Julie Blackmon.

Not that this person is also a designer ... I don't know but you have to have pretty good design sense to make photos like these. Thank you Julie Blackmon.

ichliebedich

Sandra Thoma illustrations are emotional and creepy. I love them. Check out the rest of her work here. Ok, now time to go watch The Office...for the first time! I bet I'll love it.

Los Logos

You NEED this book. It's by Mika Mischler and it's so much inspiration packed into a book, I could barely stand it and had to buy it...(that is...after I made a sketchbook's worth of ideas from it in the book store). Enjoy.

Long Awkward Pose

If this site had a better design (ie. they should hire me) then I know it would take off quickly. It's quirky and definately one of those sites you have to keep revisiting...so hopefully the videos keep coming...I know I'm going to make one. :)


Long Awkward Pose

The Client

I loved this. Spotted at Critheorian.

Tyger

I loved this video...it's a little scattered feeling at first but the music is fabulous throughout and the creativity of it all as well. The only thing I wish I could discared are the black men...but other than that, a great mini-film! Check it out! Guilherme

Out of sync

Not my usual order...but so what. Not my usual content either.



Move Me
"The struggle alone pleases us, not the victory.- " -Blaise Pascal

Non-Format

Non-Format is my favorite design company to date. I love every piece of work they've ever done and it's the style and complexity I love to see.

Rather than focus simply or exclusively on "new media," there needs to be as much, if not more, thought put into creating communications content that asks the audience to think a little bit rather than communications that are simply "hard-hitting." -Joseph Frydl, AdAge.com

It's always been that way with design, where the clients don't really GET why we, as de­sign­er­s, do the things we do...but that is also an important part of our job, being able to get them to un­der­stand why they should do this or that for their product. I really think this article has made a good point, about how we as ad­vert­isers should be working towards making our designs more com­plic­ated and intricate rather than only following the design rules that we always do. Viewers are becoming more soph­ist­ic­ated, if we want them to pay attention to our ads, we need to keep up...better yet...stay ahead.

KCD

The three-person advertising and design firm that works out of a warehouse on an old tobacco farm beat out hundreds of others for a contract to create the program for the 78th annual Academy Awards and the commemorative booklet that will be given to each of the 1,600 people who attend the Governor's Ball after the awards are presented." - The Cincinnati Post

KCD is a design company based out of Williamstown, KY. The studio is on a 118-acre farm but as you can see...the office is FAR from country. We recently interviewed Kamren Colson at the Cincinnati Art Museum and he was the most impressive, in my opinion, of all the freelancers. He really knows how to present himself in a sophisticated but very down-to-earth way and he knows how to work an audience which, as a freelance designer, is a very helpful asset to your business.

KCD's designs are...good. I wouldn't venture too far to say they are the best in the practice but their work isn't the reason I really like them so much. I like them so much because of the presence they gave off in the interview.

The first thing Kamren did when he came into the conference room was smile and then proceeded to walk around the whole table, shaking hands with everyone and remembering names. And then...he actually DID remember our names and made sure to say everyone's sometime before the meeting was over. It's making the people who are hiring you feel important tha set him apart...and it also shows you're confident about getting in. He also got everyone's contact info and sent thank you cards and tins of candy to everyone (which was also nicely designed with the KCD logo). It's things like that that really set you apart from the rest of the designers. Taking initiative is what I like.

Their design work wasn't the best out of everyone's we had seen, but the initiative he took with the Oscar's program was what I think everyone was impressed with. Read for yourself.

Breaking the Rules

"In television commercials, through which the new American businessman presents his visions and self-understanding to the public, perpetual revolution and the gospel of rule-breaking are the orthodoxy of the day. You only need to watch for a few minutes before you see one of these slogans and understand the grip of antinomianism over the corporate mind:

Sometimes You Gotta Break the Rules (Burger King)
The Rules Have Changed (Dodge)
This is different. Different is good. (Arby's)
The Line Has Been Crossed: The Revolutionary New Supra (Toyota)

...Rebellion makes no sense without repression; we must remain forever convinced of capitalim's fundamental hostility towards pleasure." -Thomas Frank "Why Johnny Can't Dissent"

When corporations say they are "breaking the rules" just to get consumers to view them as rebellious, it is almost a straight contradiction to our being rebellious. In fact, most consumers to be rebellious buy certain clothing, listen to certain kinds of music, drive certain cars of which all is targeted directly to that group of ppl so really they aren't being "rebellious" at all, they are giving in to exactly what they are fighting. The advertisers are so cunning in their approach that people don't even recognize that they are falling into the same traps as every one they are trying to differentiate themselves from. In fact, the only way I can think of to be truly different from the rest of the population is to just not buy anything, which really would be quite hard.

VASAVA

VASAVA is a group of 10 young creatives based in barcelona. They do amazing work as you can see. In this one particularly, I again admire the way they used photography and incorporated design without interfering too much with the photos.

Their website is absolutely horrid however...as you will see if you visit the link. I wouldn't have even given it a second thought if the work had not been recommended to me already as being good...so I checked it out.

They have great book design and layouts. And this exhibit developed as a showcase project of MUSAC is also very inspiring and I would give anything to have been able to see it.

My favorite piece on their website though is a series of ads they did for Diesel (example shown below).



Sorry so short today...I'm running late on a shoot as it is.

The Desire of Simplicity

"As I become increasingly sensitive to those aspects of design which reinforce repressive attitudes and behavior, I increasingly question the desirability of simplicity and clarity.

Were the mass media to include contradictions; were its images to contain suggestions rather than statements, the viewer could make an effort to bridge the gap, to interpolate, extrapolate, participate." -Some Aspects of Design... by Sheila Levrant de Bretteville

This is exactly the point I was trying to make when I got into an arguement with my professors during the graphic design review. This statement could not be more true. There is no better advertising than advertising that makes you think about it minutes, hours, days after you've seen it...but really, how many of those kinds of advertisements do you see? Not many.

Granted, there is a place for this kind of advertising. It's not really necessary for an advertisement selling Reynolds Wrap to make you think about the ad for days...unless the design for it was SO well done that you think about it for that reason. There doesn't NEED to be a deep meaning behind Reynolds Wrap to get you to buy it...you need it, you're gonna buy it. Products such as that just need to have a better design and marketability than their competitors.

However...there are products that are everyday products that because of their incredible advertising DO make you think about them for days...and not because you are trying to understand something they are trying to say but because of how well they were designed. I have an example. The Pontiac commercials. The design, the music, the presentation of their product, all of the aspects work together to pull off an amazing advertisement.

ANYWAY...got totally off topic there. By a user participating with the advertisement, it becomes more effective. As designers, it's hard for us sometimes, to not break things down to their one core component, not to break the idea down into fragments. We are taught to do this consciously from the beginning of our schooling.

Unfortunately, by doing this, we often times break it down so far to the point that it is only conveying ONE of the ideas that we are trying to get across rather than all of them. This is what limits the viewer/audience from interpreting for themselves the whole picture...we have narrowed it down for them to the point that they no longer have any other interpretation to get from the design than what we have spelled out for them.

I'll end with a good quote from Levrant de Bretteville, "A more diffused manner of organizing material maintains enough complexity, subtlety and ambiguity to entice the readers who normally dart away with someone else's encapsulated vision, rather than remaining long enough and openly enough with the idea to make it their own." Couldn't have said it better myself.

Women: laugh, cry, doubt, make mistakes and hesitate

"In advertising, women are described as, or permitted to be, laughing, crying, doubting, making mistakes, hesitating: women alone are seen as nurturing or as providing emotional support for children and men. When, for example, a company represents itself in a service capacity or as particularly accommodating, it uses a female figure and reinforces traditional attitudes by this symbolic imagery." - Some Aspects of Design from the Perspective of a Woman Designer by Sheila Levrant de Bretteville

Is this true? STILL?! In the 21st century?! Damn straight it's true. How often do you see a commercial for a cleaning product, for example, that features a MAN cleaning? Uh...never unless it's trying to make some sort of joke through it.

And what does this say about our society as a whole? Can we still not handle the thought and vision of men cleaning or nurturing or worrying or crying? Are we still in such an infantile stage with equal rights that this cannot be shown without being ridiculed?

The other bothering fact is that women are seemingly taking over in the design field...which means WE are part of the problem now. WE are approving those ads that are stereotyping us and our male counterparts. Do we realize what we are conveying to the viewers? How we are influencing our own fate? We are helping this false image of ourselves to be accepted and reinforced each time an ad is falsely representing us.

If this country is really ever going to try to be equal to both sexes, we have to get involved with the advertising, it's one of the most influential impacts on human life. We can't get away from it no matter what we do and we need to use it to our full advantage and change the way the world looks at women and men's differences. It would not only change our biased views of the sexes but it would promote more equality in our every day lives.

It's not only in ads that women are still considered to be all those beforementioned...it's in the workforce and relationships as well and until we start changing this viewpoint in advertising, it's going to be harder to persuade everyone that this image of women is NOT true.

Women can and are "serious, decisive, professional and assured" (Bretteville). And the same goes for men. Men cry, laugh, doubt and most definately make mistakes just like the stereotypical woman does. When we acknowledge this, then equality will start to really evolve and an openness towards one another as a society.

Pony

Alternative Miss Ireland XII 2006, Pony

I love this piece. The color, the photo, all the sexual connotations in it. And I also love that this competition they have every year is raising money for HIV/AIDS victims. It's almost hypocritical it seems but at the same time, it's so mature of them to realize that just because someone has AIDS or HIV does not mean that they are any different from the rest of us. I also admire this piece because this is something that would get major publicity if it were over here in the States just because of all the sexual connotations and there would be an uproar because of the woman on the front being so provocative.

When I first saw this ad for the upcoming show, I thought "Wow. This design company is definately not based in America" (it's based in London) and also "This is an ad to raise money for AIDS victims?!" (Although it's not, I later realized, just the event is). I love it.

One thing I really like about it is that the type doesn't really interfere with the photo, it always annoys me when designers try to take too much control over a piece and therefore, overpower some really great photography.

The way the title of "Alternative Miss Ireland..." turns into the border of the piece is really nice too and leads your eye all around the piece and back up to the event information.

The colors used definately point out that it is an "alternative" contest and will not be focusing on the mainstream folks. The dark red and black from the photo bring about the feeling of violence and passion but also the feelings of seduction and eroticism (word?), which I find intriguing considering this contest isn't going to really bring out the type of people that most of us consider sexy and neither does it seem to be one to include overly competitive people.

Focusing on the design of the agency as a whole, I was impressed. They have a lot of messy, destructive styles going on in a lot of their work but they stick to grids with it along the way...like this piece for example:



For this concert event, Pony put the flyer, program for the whole event and the poster all in one document. And it's incredibly clean and organized. On one side they put all the event/program info and the other side was the poster with the date of the event.

The program/flyer/poster (here image #5-9) is the amazing thing. How they could pack that much information into that small of space and still make it look organzied and easy to read is unbelievable.

I love the clean but destructive, edgy style of this company's designs. I think I agree with what one of my professors was talking about the other day. He said that when he had been working for 10 years in design, he started looking back at his work...and he didn't like a lot of what he had done in earlier years...and so he started researching the history of design and what he found was this: The designs that are timeless are ones with obvious grids. The clean, more simpler (these are two different things) designs are the ones that stick around and look good years and years down the road.

A lot of the design work that this company does may not be considered good design years from now...but a lot of it will too...especially their book designs...which goes to show that books have endless design possibilities (even inside) where as we usually just think of such a standard format for the inside of books.

Anyway..enough. Check out the websites. ...and this one (I'm listed..are you?) Nubbit

I am a Criminal

"The profession of graphic design is criminal and really ought not to exist. We will devote a booklet to it. A hundred years ago it did not exist; in another hundred years it will probably be long gone. But just now it is flourishing." -Piet Schreuders, 1977

Designers will not evaporate. Those who think graphic design is a new field just needs to do more research, it has been around forever, it evolves with time. It's one profession that will indefinately in some form, always be around because it's ever evolving into something else.

To those of you who think that it will disingrate because of the fast world of techonology and "what about all the people who have access to design programs and can make use of them with templates just as we can?" To that I say, you foolish children, has paper and pencil not existed from before my birth? How many people cannot afford a pencil and paper? This is the cheapest means of being an artist that there is and everyone has access, yet...there are very few who even attempt the endeavor.

The same goes with Photoshop, Illustrator, using templates...sure, they can own the program, sure, they can make use of the templates (mind you, everyone else in the world has the same ones so those designs become stale very quickly), but there aren't many people who are going to actually take the time to learn the intricate workings of these programs. Not only that, but there aren't many people who have the design capabilities and understandings of composition and concept to make a design work if they DID know how to use all the programs.

To those of you who are afraid of the template-users...just be better than the current templates...really, it shouldn't be that hard...they are fairly simple in their makings most of the time so that the average user can understand them and put them to use. You can do better.

Reaching a Saturation Point

"We have been bombarded with the work of those who have flogged their skill and imagination to sell such things as: cat food, stomach powders, detergent, hair restorer, striped toothpaste, aftershave lotion, beforeshave lotion, slimming diets, fattening diets, deodorants, fizzy water, cigarettes, roll-ons, pull-ons and slip-ons. By far the greatest time and effort of those working in the advertising industry are wasted on these trivial purposes, which contribute little or nothing to our national prosperity." - First Things First by Ken Garland

To that I say...give the jobs to me.

Clear thinking is the road to inventive ideas.

"I believe the only ideal a designer should work to is complete clarity of expression. Not only clarity of words, or clarity of picture, but 'idea' clarity. Whatever is to be expressed must be thoroughly understood before it can be successfully communicated." - Visual Expression by Ashley Havenden

Although we are taught this from the beginning of our design backgrounds, it can never be said enough because realistically, there is a shitload of design out there that has no clear meanings behind it. And we all fall into the trap of doing it again at some point if we aren't careful. Don't just design for design's sake. Design it to carry a meaning, an idea, a clear message to the viewer. If it doesn't, you failed.

You cannot let the viewer be distracted by your type treatment or the way it's layed out. The average viewer should not really even notice these things except to get the information easily. They can appreciate that it's well designed but if you are trying to get a message across, and most of the time you are as a designer, the actual "design" should not be the main focus of the piece. The information should be. I think as designers we sometimes forget this and get wrapped up in trying to get "our" part into the design.